idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
