Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
