if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I need moral support for this bender
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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