dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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