i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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