ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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