Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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