census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
