Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
