Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
