I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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