Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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