ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
