i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
