this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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