I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
love makes seman taste better
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
