Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
