what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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