Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
