You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
