Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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