If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
honey bunches of taint.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
