drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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