OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I stole a fireplace last night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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