What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
