so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
