Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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