i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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