im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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