You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize