READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
