he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
