who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
