I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
