Whod you bang
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
