did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
