this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
