i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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