Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
