We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
