I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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