hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
