i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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