Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
