It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
