I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
