Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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