I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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