I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
