Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
