im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she peed on how many people?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
